Dr. #2
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: A Confused Lover Girl
And then he asked, "So, how old are you?" My heart sank. I knew right then that it was over. We had gotten past the awkward, "I'm not actually divorced yet" and recovered from the embarrassing, "I don't think I'm the right person for you" and those had happened within the first 20 minutes of our convo. But the age, that killed it. Reluctantly, I told him. And he admitted to having a problem with a 20 year age difference. We kept talking, but I couldn't escape the nagging, cold feeling somewhere in the depths of my, well, abdomen. I walked him back to his office and he said he'd had a nice time, that he'd talk to me later. But I didn't believe him. I asked him if he was sure, and he hesitated before saying, "Well, yes. Is that ok?" I said of course, I'd like that, but I still didn't believe him. The next day my boss, who had introduced me to Dr. #2, had a meeting with him a few other docs. She talked to him and he told her he thought I was "awesome." For real, he said that. He also said I was great, fun, and that he really liked me. But. He just "couldn't go there with the age." And he told her he'd talk to me. Only he hasn't. Sure, we've kind of emailed, but he hasn't talked. In fact not only has he not been talking, he's been blowing me off. He does it politely, but he's still blowing me off. I think. I'm actually not sure. He could just be that busy. I don't know. Because he called the office today. Of course, I had gone to the hospital to pick up records, but he called. Stressie, a fellow coworker, answered and for some reason Dr. #2 gets the two of us confused. He was wanting the doctor on call, but he was willing to forgo business to talk to who he thought was me. But then quickly got back to business when he either realized it wasn't me, or thought I didn't want to talk to him. So I was no longer upset, nor was I beating myself up for getting myself too emotionally involved. 40% of me wanted to email him, but the other 60% was definitely willing to wait. If he really is interested, maybe he's just busy. Or maybe he's trying to get things figured out because of the divorce. Maybe he'll pull his head out and realize that he hasn't gotten to know me, and while me being 20 years younger sounds really bad on paper, maybe he'll figure out it's not so bad. Or that it's something he can get over once we spend some more time together. Because surely once he gotten to know me better he'll see that I'm actually that great, right? I know it's a lot of maybes. I know. And while I would for that to happen, I'm not really holding my breath. Ok, just a little. But not totally. Because if he doesn't figure it out, that's fine. There will always be someone else. Plenty of fish, and all that ridiculousness. Right?